This year, it feels especially cold.
Though I try to swim several times a week, I tend to come up with all sorts of excuses trying to skip swimming when it’s this cold.
The first obstacle is getting there.
When the cold wind hits my face, I think of turning straight back home as soon as I get out of the front door.
So why do I push myself to go swimming in the first place?
Self-questioning starts here.
It’s because I want to continue to maintain the physical strength needed to perform on stage with full concentration.
We can’t stop the body declining with age. It has become just as important as my violin practice, to resist that reality and to train to prevent my muscles from deterioration.
Or, perhaps keeping my body in shape has become the priority issue now, than practicing.
When I think about it, my heavy feet start moving step by step towards the gym. But when the cold north wind blows…… I start flinching yet again. If I turn left now and left once more, I would get home. Maybe I should skip just for today……I might catch a cold……reasons for not going spring to mind spontaneously.
No, I will swim. Even just walking in the water will do……
That’s how my ten-minute walk to the gym starts, fighting with myself.
When I finally reach the gym, I don’t feel triumphant, but I’m more like, “Oh, I’m here already”, still refusing to accept it. Once I get inside the gym, I’m surprised to see many people, young and old, working out quietly. I find myself gazing with respect at each of their faces who are out in this cold, regretting my own behaviour. Once I’m in the water, I just swim, swim, swim……without thinking anymore. As I repeat laps endlessly, the only sounds I can hear are the splashing of water and the noise of my feet kicking……I see the elder people than myself also swimming relentlessly in the lane next to me, as I crawl, backstroke and breaststroke……
The toughest are the first few hundred metres. Strangely, once I pass 500 metres, my breathing settles into a rhythm where I feel that I can swim forever. I go on for just one more lap, then another, passing a kilometre and still feel like swimming more. When I stop at a reasonable point, checking the time, it always feels wonderfully refreshing.
My shoulders, back and even my arms stiff from violin practice, feel soft, loose and light.
I feel ready to tackle things again well once I get home.
Fighting against my weakness this winter, I do wish it would be warm again soon.