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Essay “The Sound of the Heart”

April , 2019
The Passing Times (Era)

Finally, the name of the era will be renewed.
We Japanese tend to think of the era as an opportunity to sort out our own feelings and to look back in the 30 years of the “Heisei era”, and to reflect upon our mistakes and thoughts.
In my case, as my birthday is in April, it is a time for me to freshen up my own feelings.

I was born in April, and on the 3rd day of the month.
When I was little, I did not like the fact of becoming the first one to turn older than any other members of the class. I had two elder brothers and was the youngest of the three siblings.
I was rather a spoilt child, following around my two brothers, asking them to play with me and asking them for help with my homework. It was easier for me to ask them rather than asking my strict father. So it was like having 4 parents when I was little.
But when I went to school, I was the oldest in the class and had felt some kind of pressure to behave like the eldest.
So whenever someone mentioned my birthday, I felt uncomfortable as I thought that I would not be able to become everyone’s “big sister”. Somehow, when I turned to 20 years old, I felt quite comfortable of becoming “the older sister”, one step ahead of the others. It might have been some feelings unique to girls, I liked acting like a grown up. Perhaps I was attracted by the image of a mature woman in love.
In any case, birthday is the time to sort yourself out. Moreover, April in Japan is the time of the start of a new fiscal and school year and also the blooming period of the cherry blossoms, and the time of a new beginning. full of hope.
The sunny spring season might be helping us to forget our difficulties in our lives and reset ourselves for a new start.
As for this spring, the name of the era will be renewed, so all of us in Japan might be leaving behind things that didn’t go well, to face forward.
As I look back into the Heisei Era, and to my own age, I really feel that time passes so quickly and gets even faster year by year. A year goes by so quickly, and so did the 30 years in the Heisei era.
It might be that for example, one year for a 10 years old would be a tenth, while a year for a 50 years old would be one fiftieth. and the theory of relative time axis exists.
However, I do not dislike growing older. In fact, I feel happier getting older year by year. I would like to age in an elegant way and I think that growing older is wonderful. That is because I am often touched by the charm of the elder people whom I meet. I think that their
wrinkles on their faces are charming. All of their great experiences are engraved in those wrinkles and makes them a character with deeper and richer taste. And the spoken words of such people really touches us so deeply, even with their most simple words.
People tend to think that aging is cruel for women. Many feel that wrinkles are the womens’ enemy. Though I do have some wishes to keep looking young but at the same time, I am fascinated by the elder people and their charming wrinkles.
If I could live long, and if I was able to go on playing the violin as an old woman, I would like to become a violinist who can play “the sound with wrinkles”.